With the start of PenniesForNorm.us and the laying down of “the Ground Floor” of the Pennies for Norm Tournament, I can honestly say that I haven’t been this excited about wrestling in a long time. It’s a long way from where I once was, obviously, but developing and planning for this idea is my biggest undertaking yet in life, and it’s bringing my passion back. However, in 2012, it was the last thing on my mind, due to my Dad’s health.
I personally see this site as an open book and as an open invitation to this ordeal, so I will spill my guts through here.
In late April 2012, my father was locked into stage 4 colon cancer and had a serious tumor right in the colorectal region. The doctors knew that to even attempt to get him through this serious issue at the time, they needed to go in and basically “gut” him, as my old man put it. It was a very risky surgery that was a true 50/50 and could have possibly killed him. Needless to say, it was a risk that needed to be taken.
The one thing about my father was that he didn’t want anyone to worry about him. A true independent free spirit, Big Norm despised the attention the cancer had brought to him. He just wanted it to be over and done with. Realistically, his fight had only begun. However, for his wife and kids, my Dad went through with this very real “life or death” surgery.
Around this time period, one of the true bonds my old man and I shared was pro wrestling. In the midst of all of this, I had finally gotten the Professional Revolution in Beyond Wrestling and into a rivalry (a dream rivalry at that) with Dan Barry. It was my biggest break to date. I know my father would have wanted me to keep going and do what I had to do, but with serious surgery on his horizon and the length of rehab time in Care One he would have to deal with, I knew I couldn’t go to the biggest Beyond show to date “Burst the Bubble”. I cancelled on the booking to stay local, in case something happened.
My old man went in for surgery on a Monday in the last week of April 2012, and after a more than 8 hour ordeal, he came through alive. Granted, he no longer had his rectal area, his bladder, and other organs, my father was alive. However, nothing else truly mattered to me at that point. Seeing his struggle and the pain he was in, I just cared about his health. Ultimately, my demeanor changed into a bitter, angry individual personally.
Of course, this would affect my feelings towards everything and everyone. At the time, once I missed Beyond shows and other wrestling organization events, the love of wrestling just left me. Pro wrestling was the strongest link to my father and I was letting it go. Truth be told, I was looking for someone and something to blame.
Looking back at it now, it might not have been the greatest of decisions I have made, but I legitimately held a gripe against Drew Cordeiro, the owner of Beyond and WSU. For reasons truly unknown to myself, I blamed him for my professional and personal shortcomings in some weird way, even though it was all me. I doubt Drew even knows the amount of contempt I held for him. I bottled these feelings and stress inside of me for 18 months and not once even confronted the man on this situation. My friends, in particular, knew that I was TOO angry at Drew for failing with goals, even when it takes two to mess up. There’s a lot here nor there regarding that relationship, but I will personally say that I think that my relationship with Drew and Beyond would have fared a lot better, only if I wasn’t completely devastated about my father and his illness. I was too angry, too upset, and too selfish in my own emotions to man up and discuss small, minute issues.
Once my relationship with Beyond and my other wrestling organizations STOPPED, so did my love for wrestling. I cared so much about my father’s health and the stress that he was going through that I stopped really living life. It drove my family, my girlfriend, and especially my father nuts. Granted, he had another year on “borrowed time” as I saw it, but I knew it was the beginning of the end for Big Norm. When he died on November 10 of last year, I truly understood the meaning of life a few months later: never take life for granted and don’t be angry over stupid things. “No regrets”, as my father told me the last time I saw him in a hospital bed the day before his last surgery on November 3.
Over the last couple of months, I have started to follow things that, during my father’s ordeal, I had stopped doing. Following the New York Mets was one thing. Smiling and actually going out and having a good time was another (despite what my girlfriend says, I have been getting better at that). Lastly, my love for pro wrestling has started to filter back in. It will never be the same; without my father’s wisdom and love of it, it will never get that way again. However, it will be a different type of love. Understanding the arc of a good rivalry, the ins-and-outs of good commentary, and the multi-layers of a wrestling character are what I’m looking to enjoy now.
My father told me, “No regrets” on the last time I saw him alive. I hope the Pennies for Norm Tournament allows me to show no regrets. No matter what, my love for wrestling is there, as well as my father. And that will get me through the toughest of times.
Love you Dad.
Jon Harder
[email protected]
#PenniesForNorm
I personally see this site as an open book and as an open invitation to this ordeal, so I will spill my guts through here.
In late April 2012, my father was locked into stage 4 colon cancer and had a serious tumor right in the colorectal region. The doctors knew that to even attempt to get him through this serious issue at the time, they needed to go in and basically “gut” him, as my old man put it. It was a very risky surgery that was a true 50/50 and could have possibly killed him. Needless to say, it was a risk that needed to be taken.
The one thing about my father was that he didn’t want anyone to worry about him. A true independent free spirit, Big Norm despised the attention the cancer had brought to him. He just wanted it to be over and done with. Realistically, his fight had only begun. However, for his wife and kids, my Dad went through with this very real “life or death” surgery.
Around this time period, one of the true bonds my old man and I shared was pro wrestling. In the midst of all of this, I had finally gotten the Professional Revolution in Beyond Wrestling and into a rivalry (a dream rivalry at that) with Dan Barry. It was my biggest break to date. I know my father would have wanted me to keep going and do what I had to do, but with serious surgery on his horizon and the length of rehab time in Care One he would have to deal with, I knew I couldn’t go to the biggest Beyond show to date “Burst the Bubble”. I cancelled on the booking to stay local, in case something happened.
My old man went in for surgery on a Monday in the last week of April 2012, and after a more than 8 hour ordeal, he came through alive. Granted, he no longer had his rectal area, his bladder, and other organs, my father was alive. However, nothing else truly mattered to me at that point. Seeing his struggle and the pain he was in, I just cared about his health. Ultimately, my demeanor changed into a bitter, angry individual personally.
Of course, this would affect my feelings towards everything and everyone. At the time, once I missed Beyond shows and other wrestling organization events, the love of wrestling just left me. Pro wrestling was the strongest link to my father and I was letting it go. Truth be told, I was looking for someone and something to blame.
Looking back at it now, it might not have been the greatest of decisions I have made, but I legitimately held a gripe against Drew Cordeiro, the owner of Beyond and WSU. For reasons truly unknown to myself, I blamed him for my professional and personal shortcomings in some weird way, even though it was all me. I doubt Drew even knows the amount of contempt I held for him. I bottled these feelings and stress inside of me for 18 months and not once even confronted the man on this situation. My friends, in particular, knew that I was TOO angry at Drew for failing with goals, even when it takes two to mess up. There’s a lot here nor there regarding that relationship, but I will personally say that I think that my relationship with Drew and Beyond would have fared a lot better, only if I wasn’t completely devastated about my father and his illness. I was too angry, too upset, and too selfish in my own emotions to man up and discuss small, minute issues.
Once my relationship with Beyond and my other wrestling organizations STOPPED, so did my love for wrestling. I cared so much about my father’s health and the stress that he was going through that I stopped really living life. It drove my family, my girlfriend, and especially my father nuts. Granted, he had another year on “borrowed time” as I saw it, but I knew it was the beginning of the end for Big Norm. When he died on November 10 of last year, I truly understood the meaning of life a few months later: never take life for granted and don’t be angry over stupid things. “No regrets”, as my father told me the last time I saw him in a hospital bed the day before his last surgery on November 3.
Over the last couple of months, I have started to follow things that, during my father’s ordeal, I had stopped doing. Following the New York Mets was one thing. Smiling and actually going out and having a good time was another (despite what my girlfriend says, I have been getting better at that). Lastly, my love for pro wrestling has started to filter back in. It will never be the same; without my father’s wisdom and love of it, it will never get that way again. However, it will be a different type of love. Understanding the arc of a good rivalry, the ins-and-outs of good commentary, and the multi-layers of a wrestling character are what I’m looking to enjoy now.
My father told me, “No regrets” on the last time I saw him alive. I hope the Pennies for Norm Tournament allows me to show no regrets. No matter what, my love for wrestling is there, as well as my father. And that will get me through the toughest of times.
Love you Dad.
Jon Harder
[email protected]
#PenniesForNorm